Words Just Dont Compute

In studies conducted by Motivational Systems of West Orange, New Jersey, researchers found that 72% of the 12,000 participants reported that, in first time meetings, non-verbal communication carried significantly more weight than a verbal message (words). Only 6% of the respondents paid the slightest attention to what a person said at a first time meeting. This finding parallels Dr. Al Mehrabian's research at UCLA, who reported that only 7% of a person's communications effectiveness comes from words, while 38% is made up of tone of voice and 55% from non-verbal communication like eye contact, gestures, body language, dress, facial hair, etc. Ninety three percent of what is effectively communicated is non-verbal.

Think about it. Isn't it true that when you first meet someone new that your impression of them is based on how they look and sound? Even after you've known a person for a long time, you have a tendency to believe someone's body language more than the words that are used-and if the words don't match his or her body language, you may reject what is said altogether.

Remember, it is impossible to talk a person into having a great first impression of you or your company, no matter how hard you try. Also remember, how you look and act, rather than what you say is what gives you "an edge" with your customers, clients or prospects. A firm handshake, good posture, self-assured smile, professional manner and the way you dress are what people tune into. Sales representatives who try to talk or persuade a prospect into buying are totally ineffective. It appears that in selling, listening skills and not speaking skills are more important than the words that describe your products.

From the studies cited above and your own common sense, you can see that if you truly want to build a trusting relationship with a prospect, client or customer, you need to say as little as possible and get the other person to do most of the talking. When communicating with another person, always keep in mind that your words just don't compute!

To acquire a system where people talk themselves into buying, just click on http://www.thesellingedge.com/manual1.htm and then apply the techniques outlined in this unique self-directed learning manual in each of your sales transactions:

VIRDEN THORNTON is the founder and President of The $elling Edge, Inc. a firm specializing in sales, customer relations, and management training and development. Clients have included Sears Optical, Eastman Kodak, IBM, Deloitte & Touch, Bank One, Jefferson Pilot, and WalHMart to name a few. Virden is the author of Prospecting: The Key To Sales Success and the best selling Building & Closing the Sale, Fifty-Minute series books and Close That Sale, a video/audio tape series published by Crisp Publications, Inc. Menlo Park, California. He has also authored a Self-Directed Learning series of sales, coaching & team development, telemarketing, and personal productivity training guides.

Highway time

The big older Pontiac sped along eating up mile upon mile of highway. The driver slouched indolently behind the wheel, his left elbow resting comfortably on the car window fingers steadying the wheel but not gripping it, tapping in time to the classic rock on the radio. His right hand gripped the wheel at almost the top, but even that grip was relaxed, almost lazy. His rich hazel eyes were hidden behind aviator style sunglasses. He had a strong chin with a neatly trimmed goatee which matched his equally neatly trimmed short black hair.
The highway he was on stretched the length of the country, The Trans-Canada Highway, and he was driving west from the prairies towards the West Coast. The Rocky Mountains stretched before him, running north to south, like an impenetrable barrier. But Evan Kirby knew better; the highway found its winding way through mountain passes across the continental divide over several ranges ending in the Pacific Coastal Range and the sea. There by the sea, on the great Fraser River Delta which two million or more souls called home, lay Vancouver: a port city, a crossroads of the world. But the draw there for Evan was the rich and bountiful entertainment industry. Evan Kirby was a guitar player. He had played with an assortment of bands in prairie towns and cities but, drawn to classic rock and the new innovative sounds coming out of some of the west coast studios, had decided to try his luck in Vancouver. After all, he had reasoned, the weather's warmer there too.
The car was a cluttered mess and a Marshall amplifier took up more than half of the back seat. Some fast food bags and beverage cups littered the floor. On the seat beside him was a Calgary newspaper, a copy of Guitarplayer Magazine and a couple of CD's. As the car cruised further into the mountains the Calgary radio station he had been listening to started to crackle and break up. Evan steadied the wheel with a couple of fingers only and loaded a CD into the player. The car was filled with the sound of Led Zepplin as he cruised through the Banff National Park Gates.
Just west of the Banff townsite there were a couple of hitchhikers along the road. The first two were a grubby looking pair of men which Evan barely looked at. But his eyes were drawn to the slim girlish figure standing alone clutching a small pack to her side almost as though it were a teddy bear. The wind was blowing her long straight blonde hair wildly from beneath her hat, a crocheted close-fitting soft turquoise cap. She wore a pair of flared, faded and somewhat tattered blue jeans and a shirt that was a tight fitting long sleeved soft knit fabric in a darker turquoise than her hat with a dragon boldly painted across the front. Evan whistled under his breath as he pulled over to pick her up. 'Geez, she's just a kid.' he thought, 'They just get younger.'

The Shadow and the Flash

When I look back, I realise what a peculiar friendship it was. First, there was Lloyd Inwood, tall, slender, and finely knit, nervous and dark. And then Paul Tichlorne, tall, slender, and finely knit, nervous and blond. Each was the replica of the other in everything except colour. Lloyd's eyes were black; Paul's were blue. Under stress of excitement, the blood coursed olive in the face of Lloyd, crimson in the face of Paul. But outside this matter of colouring they were as like as two peas. Both were high-strung, prone to excessive tension and endurance, and they lived at concert pitch.
But there was a trio involved in this remarkable friendship, and the third was short, and fat, and chunky, and lazy, and, loath to say, it was I. Paul and Lloyd seemed born to rivalry with each other, and I to be peacemaker between them. We grew up together, the three of us, and full often have I received the angry blows each intended for the other. They were always competing, striving to outdo each other, and when entered upon some such struggle there was no limit either to their endeavours or passions.
This intense spirit of rivalry obtained in their studies and their games. If Paul memorised one canto of "Marmion," Lloyd memorised two cantos, Paul came back with three, and Lloyd again with four, till each knew the whole poem by heart. I remember an incident that occurred at the swimming hole - an incident tragically significant of the life-struggle between them. The boys had a game of diving to the bottom of a ten-foot pool and holding on by submerged roots to see who could stay under the longest. Paul and Lloyd allowed themselves to be bantered into making the descent together. When I saw their faces, set and determined, disappear in the water as they sank swiftly down, I felt a foreboding of something dreadful. The moments sped, the ripples died away, the face of the pool grew placid and untroubled, and neither black nor golden head broke surface in quest of air. We above grew anxious. The longest record of the longest-winded boy had been exceeded, and still there was no sign. Air bubbles trickled slowly upward, showing that the breath had been expelled from their lungs, and after that the bubbles ceased to trickle upward. Each second became interminable, and, unable longer to endure the suspense, I plunged into the water.

Brazen

"Ugh!" Stephanie Dwyer slammed her apartment door and stomped her foot. "Creep!" A picture fell off the wall and shattered. Water logged, droplets dripped from her nose, her hair, and her eyelashes, pooling at her feet. She scowled. Her new high heels were utterly ruined.
Courtney hid a chuckle behind her hand. Pointing the remote control at the television, she clicked off the sitcom she'd been watching. Her lips crooked into a half smirk. "This one turned into a jerk, too?"
Stephanie dropped her purse onto the coffee table and flopped onto the couch. She kicked her shoes off, scaring the cat who ran into the other room. Staring at the ceiling, she said, "All men should crash and burn."
"That good?" Courtney sat forward, flicking her long black hair behind her shoulders. "There's got to be a couple of good men out there. All we need is one good man each. Is that too much to ask?"
Stephanie lifted pained eyes to her roommate and best friend. "I don't think there's two good guys in this whole universe. I give up. I've had it. I'm not kissing any more toads."
Courtney looked thoughtful, tapping her chin with her forefinger. "Maybe we've been looking in the wrong universe."
Her friend was losing it big time. "What are you talking about?" Handsome Patrick had seemed so perfect, so wonderful. Until she'd caught him with Alyssa tonight, telling her the moon and stars shone only for her, that they were soulmates - the same pathetic lines he'd snared her with.
Some soulmate!
Jumping to her feet, Courtney paced in front of her. "What we need is a vacation away from the city to someplace totally different."
"With totally different kinds of men." Despite herself, her interest was piqued. "We need men who are the opposite of the bozos we've been finding here. No more big shot professionals."
Courtney grinned from ear to ear. "No more men who drive Mercedes."
"Or who wear Rolex's." Steph started to feel alive again.
"Or who drink champagne." Courtney downed a sip of her diet soda. Mischief danced in her dark eyes. "Give me a down to earth man who guzzles beer."
The spirit grabbed Steph, rejuvenating her. "Give me a man who wears boots!"
Courtney slapped her thigh. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

The Realm Of The Unreal

For a part of the distance between Auburn and Newcastle the road -- first on one side of a creek and then on the other -- occupies the whole bottom of the ravine, being partly cut out of the steep hillside, and partly built up with boulders removed from the creek-bed by the miners. The hills are wooded, the course of the ravine is sinuous. In a dark night careful driving is required in order not to go off into the water. The night that I have in memory was dark, the creek a torrent, swollen by a recent storm. I had driven up from Newcastle and was within about a mile of Auburn in the darkest and narrowest part of the ravine, looking intently ahead of my horse for the roadway. Suddenly I saw a man almost under the animal's nose, and reined in with a jerk that came near setting the creature upon its haunches.
'I beg your pardon,' I said; 'I did not see you, sir.'
'You could hardly be expected to see me,' the man replied civilly, approaching the side of the vehicle; 'and the noise of the creek prevented my hearing you.'
I at once recognized the voice, although five years had passed since I had heard it. I was not particularly well pleased to hear it now.
'You are Dr. Dorrimore, I think,' said I.
'Yes; and you are my good friend Mr. Manrich. I am more than glad to see you -- the excess,' he added, with a light laugh, 'being due to the fact that I am going your way, and naturally expect an invitation to ride with you.'
'Which I extend with all my heart.'
That was not altogether true.
Dr. Dorrimore thanked me as he seated himself beside me, and I drove cautiously forward, as before. Doubtless it is fancy, but it seems to me now that the remaining distance was made in a chill fog; that I was uncomfortably cold; that the way was longer than ever before, and the town, when we reached it, cheerless, forbidding, and desolate. It must have been early in the evening, yet I do not recollect a light in any of the houses nor a living thing in the streets. Dorrimore explained at some length how he happened to be there, and where he had been during the years that had elapsed since I had seen him. I recall the fact of the narrative, but none of the facts narrated. He had been in foreign countries and had returned -- this is all that my memory retains, and this I already knew. As to myself I cannot remember that I spoke a word, though doubtless I did.

Hottest Pepper

Being the (brazen) adventurist that I am, I have tried the hottest pepper on earth. Introduced to me as the Ghost Pepper, I came to find out this hot lil, devil vegetable goes by many scary and hard to pronounce names, and is damn hot.

My first and only experience with the ghost pepper was one to remember. One random Friday evening I was dining at a delicious Indian food restaurant (Red Fort) in Torrance, CA. The owner/manager of the restaurant (a gregarious and delightful man) came over to our table with a pair of scissors and a plastic bag of something. Having already expressed my love for spicy foods earlier in the evening, the owner asked me if I wanted to try a "very spicy pepper". Of course the "fearless and daring" side of my personality perked up and I said "YES"!!

*To back up for a minute, I like Sriracha and Tabasco sauce...not all spicy foods, so for me to declare with gusto that I like spicy foods (as though I am some spicy food aficionado) is idiotic of me.

The owner then proceeded to snip off a tiny speck of the pepper, put it on a napkin and allow me to proceed at my own risk. The scissors and plastic bag should have tipped me off as to how hot this pepper is, but I continued to place that tiny piece of pepper onto my tongue without hesitation.

After putting the speck of ghost pepper (size of a sprinkle) on my tongue, a burning sensation filled my mouth. After 10 seconds, I felt like the pepper was actually boring a hole directly through my tongue. Needless to say, I took the pepper immediately out of my mouth and started gulping red wine (to no alleviation). The burning, searing sensation lasted a good 30 minutes after the pepper was out of my mouth. After the pepper was crumpled in a napkin at my table, the owner came over and handed me his iPhone. On the screen a video was playing (below: Youtube video) of a man who put a piece of the intestinal track of the ghost pepper in his mouth. I seriously suggest you check this video out; great entertainment/warning.

The Ghost Pepper is not something to mess around with. It is the hottest pepper in the world.

Eat healthy

A whopping 20 percent of Canadians can’t afford their homes, according to a recently released study, and I’d guess that this statistic is comparable in the U.S. and other developed countries right now. The report went on to state that these people frequently choose unhealthy food options because they believe them to be cheaper and feel they can’t afford to eat right. So in my effort to help everyone who’s watching their money (isn’t that just about everyone these days?), I’ve compiled some of my favorite ways to eat more healthfully on a budget.

1. Double or triple your normal recipes and freeze the leftovers. You’ll dramatically cut down the cost of buying prepared and packaged foods. And, you’ll eat healthier when you’re tired or in a pinch for time.

2. Use seasonal fruits and vegetables as much as possible. When food is in season, it’s cheaper. Plus, you’ll be doing your part for the environment by eating more locally grown food.

3. Watch for sales. Plan your meals around some of the cheaper items you find.

4. Add more beans to your diet. Beans are not only the “magical fruit,” they can also work magic on your budget since they’re super nutritious and cheap. Dried beans can be cooked effortlessly overnight in a slow cooker. Place one cup dried beans and six cups water in a slow cooker before going to bed and cook on low overnight. Drain and rinse in the morning and they’re ready for use in your soup, stew, chili, salad, or other recipes.

5. Eat more vegetarian meals. Meat tends to be more expensive; not to mention, it also takes a higher toll on the environment and your body.

6. Take a page from the chef’s notebook. Use mirepoix as a base for many soups, stews, and rice dishes. Mirepoix is a fancy-sounding French word that simply means chopped onions, celery, and carrots. These are among the cheapest vegetables and they add lots of flavor to your meals.

7. Shop at your local farmers’ markets instead of grocery stores as much as possible. Most farmers’ market food doesn’t have the built-in costs of lengthy transportation, distributors, warehousing, etc. Plus, the food is fresher and frequently more nutritious, and eating locally is better for the environment.

8. Grow your own sprouts and herbs. Growing your own sprouts is much easier than you think. Not sure how? Read my article on how to do it.

9. Buy seasonal produce in bulk and freeze it. From berries to sliced peaches to chopped green and red peppers, many fruits and vegetables can be frozen.
10. Hit the bulk bins at your local health food or grocery store. Here’s where you’ll find the lower cost whole grains, beans, seeds, nuts, and flour. They’re usually substantially cheaper than their packaged counterparts are. And, less packaging is good for your wallet and the planet.

11. Shop the perimeter of your grocery store. You’ll find fresher, healthier options there. The center aisles are primarily reserved for the packaged, convenience foods that tend to cost more and are full of dangerous additives, trans fats, and sugar.

12. Make your own snacks. Prepared snack foods are not only full of junk ingredients that you should avoid, they tend to be expensive. Make a batch of cookies, muffins, or other snack food with wholesome, natural ingredients.

13. Plan ahead. A few minutes of planning your grocery list and the meals you’ll make can save you plenty of cash on impulse purchases you’ll be less likely to make.

Eating healthfully doesn’t have to be costly. With a little planning, you might be surprised at how inexpensive—and delicious—healthful eating can be.